Accountable (Not Cancel) Culture
If I’m being wholly honest, I hesitated to write this blog and share it publicly. When we say “cancel culture” a spectrum of perspectives erupts. “People are too sensitive," “We need to stop harmful rhetoric," “My first amendment rights are taken away," “Cancel culture raises awareness.” I’m nervous about people saying I’m too generous with unpacking cancel culture or I’m not generous enough. But here the blog post is in front of you. Even through my uncertainty, I’m living my philosophy to not let fear of saying the wrong thing shut down a conversation.
What I intended to do (and did) was research the topic, learn more about perspectives, engage in conversation, and remain open to receiving feedback. The intention is rooted in a willingness to learn and be challenged.
“The purpose...is to focus on the opportunities to keep the conversation going”
The purpose of this blog is to focus on the opportunities to keep the conversation going in our day-to-day, immediate social circles – at work, with family, and/or friends. Settings in which the phrase, “You don’t want to get canceled for saying that” has been a frequent refrain since the late 2010’s. A phrase which can effectively end a conversation. When a conversation is shut down, it often reinforces the thoughts each individual had before, building in the conviction that they were “right” all along. When this happens, we lose the opportunity to engage in a more nuanced way, especially with others whose beliefs may be in conflict with our own.
A possible reframe of cancel culture is “accountability” culture. A person can learn and be held accountable to do that learning. On a recent Ensō podcast, guest Alyce Dailey took this idea one step further; more than holding yourself “accountable," hold yourself “capable”. You can do this. You are active in your growth.
“A possible reframe of cancel culture is ‘accountability’ culture”
What does it look like to hold yourself capable? Even with the best of intentions, you will still make mistakes. Even though that embarrassment is still there, hiding does no good. We can’t control what we’ve already done. That’s in the past; but we can control what we do moving forward. If I’ve made a mistake, then it’s up to me to learn from it and make those corrections moving forward. As mentioned earlier in this blog, ways to learn include asking questions from multiple sources; doing research – it’s my responsibility to educate myself; and above all, keeping an open mind, which includes that I could be in the wrong.
What does it look like to hold others capable? Be open and curious – there are some 8+ billion people on this planet, which means there are over 8 billion perspectives. What you feel like is “wrong” might not be part of their world view. Where does what they’re saying come from? How have their experiences shaped them? What might their intentions be? This is not a carte blanche that accepts everything everyone has to say. Just as we hold ourselves capable of learning and growing, we can hold others capable of the same. How we approach that can impact the recipient’s willingness to listen.
Many of us are probably familiar with the idea of being called out. This often happens when trying to amend or correct someone if something inappropriate is said or done. “That’s bad. You shouldn’t say/do that.” When that’s expressed, a value judgment is being made. Instead of calling out, I like the practice of calling in. Calling in starts from a place of generosity and assumes the person has good intentions, “When you said that, I imagine you’re thinking of (fill in the blank), because that’s generally how that phrase is used. We’ve come to understand that that language is harmful. You probably didn’t mean it that way. Instead of saying that phrase, you could say this instead.”
“Instead of calling out, I like the practice of calling in”
What’s socially acceptable evolves as the world progresses. That doesn’t have to be scary. If we have more grace and believe in all of us being capable of making that progress, then the conversation can continue towards a more harmonious way of being.